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ACEs Healing: Action Plan

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Create your Healing Journey Action Plan

We have journeyed through your past hurts, identified how it has shown up in your life in the present, and can now plan for who you want to be in the future. With a plan of action, you are making a conscious decision to play a role in your destiny and not remain helpless to what we know as fate. Destiny is something you can control, while fate is something that just happens to you. Nothing just happens, it is the result of choices made, good or bad, conscious or unconscious.

There is room for improvement in all areas of our lives. We can start by identifying 1-2 things in each category that we would like to work on, how we will improve through skill practicing, and progress through your journey, one step at a time.

For example:

Relationships

  • Be more respectful of other people’s time; not running late or arriving too early

Skill: Self-Discipline, Learning to ask for help 

Practice: Write down everything that must be done before you leave the house; Give yourself an additional 30mins-1hour to prepare; Ask for help getting the children ready instead of taking on the responsibility of everything yourself; Unless requested, arriving 15mins earlier than the time you need to be somewhere should be sufficient timing

Family

  • Be more attentive to your children; follow their interest to help them thrive

Skill: Communicating feelings of love and acceptance without judgment

Practice: Verbally say "I Love You"; Instead of giving general compliments like "Great Job", be more specific and say "Great job, for doing the dishes before I asked" or "I like the way you have kept your room clean this week, keep up the good work" - catch them in a teachable moment - be present; Give more praise then criticism

Friends

  • Invest in developing your friendships; treating others how you want to be treated

Skill: Accept ownership for your behavior, Set clear boundaries

Practice: Friendships take work, otherwise they would just be acquaintances; The friends we have impact who you are as a person; Are you accepting unfavorable behavior? Are you a good friend? What makes a person a good friend? When you hurt your friend's feelings (like forget their birthday), apologize, and take steps to not repeat the past, such as: add a birthday reminder on your phone for next year; If you are unhappy about their behavior, they may behave that way because you have not voiced healthy boundaries; Don't be resentful for something you have not been clear about

Finances

  • Pay closer attention to where your money is being spent; budget

Skill: Make thoughtful choices, Create a sense of control

Practice: Make a list of where you currently spend your money; Where can you make adjustments; How can you save more money?; Do you weigh the consequences of maxing out your credit card before you go binge shopping?; Do you hide purchases?; Identifying the problem and developing a solution for each helps create a sense of control

Work

  • Keep your work life and home life separate

Skill: Acknowledge when you are wrong; Self-Regulation

Practice: Take a moment to breathe and think about your responses to any given situation, whether with coworkers or supervisors; Are you reacting or responding?; Admit when you are wrong or made a mistake - does not mean you are a failure or an imposter, but that you are human; This is key in leadership because no one wants to be wrong, especially the boss, but it shows humility and leaves room for others to admit their mistakes and not tarnish their integrity by upholding the impossible; Be careful who you share your home life with at work, it could come back to haunt you

School

  • Accepting help from teachers and classmates

Skill: Critical thinking skills, Delayed gratification

Practice: Read the syllabus to find out office hours; Be clear about what you need help with; Attempt to solve the problem yourself first; Then ask a classmate or the teacher; Send an email; Go to tutoring sessions; Seeking help shows that you are trying and not giving up; Set short and long term goals; Reward your self for the small victories

Self

  • Take care of yourself like your life depended on it because it does

Skill: Advocacy, Appreciation

Practice: Be kind to yourself; Be mindful of the language you use; Celebrate the small wins; Care for your inner child, giving yourself everything you needed and did not receive; Appreciate yourself for the care and love of you; Pat yourself on the back; Tell yourself you are doing a magnificent job; Give yourself a round of applause; Only you can make you happy; Look yourself in the mirror and tell you "I have a voice and I matter "

Character in the Community

  • Be kind to strangers and community members

Skill: Give back to the community, Sense of belonging

Practice: Be mindful of how you treat members of the community and the words you use when speaking to them; Are you nice to the local store clerk, even when your favorite product is out of stock?; Are you a careful driver, even when someone cuts you off in traffic or do you participate in road rage?; Character is what you do when no one is looking; If you were being recorded, would you still behave in the same way or be ashamed of your bad behavior? Find a cause in the community you can support and be passionate about, like helping children, the elderly, homeless, or at-risk population 

Body, Mind, Spirit Connection

Caring for our character is just one area of our life we can improve. Healing holistically is a balancing act between the Body, Mind, and Spirit that requires continuous improvement. If one area is out of sync, it will affect the other areas because they are all connected.

Body

Interacts with the outside world, sending signals to your brain

  • Exercise, eat healthy, stay hydrated, sleep

Mind

Interacts with the body senses for information, allows the collection of knowledge

  •  Read more books, articles; be a student of life; mindful of triggers

Spirit

Experiences and beliefs help to develop the wisdom needed for daily functioning

  • Prayer, meditation, fellowship, community service

Pay it Forward - Help Someone Else in Need

Self-Actualization occurs when a person can take full advantage of their talents while being mindful of their limitations.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid

Share your new self with others, parents, children, partners, friends, family, the community. Your resilience skills can help you help someone else, because you are now in total control of yourself.

Wisdom is a defense, defend yourself by offering your knowledge to those individuals who may be having trouble identifying their own triggers and how it relates to what happened to them in their past.

Take 5 - Don't Wait to Live your Best Life 

Now that you know better, you can begin to do better. Take a moment at the end of each day, week, month, year to make sure you are staying on the right track and not falling back into old, bad habits. You must stay vigilant because it is easy to revert to what is comfortable. You may have a few slip ups, just self-correct and continue to follow the plan you have set for yourself to have a better life. It is ok to fall down, just don't stay down; pick yourself back up and keep trying.

Determine if you need to create new goals, alter your current goals, or slightly pivot to reach the goals you have in mind.

Write down 5 goals you have for yourself and 1 thing you do each day to progress towards each goal.

Other Resources

<ACEs How to Heal: Spirit                           ACEs How to Heal: Wellness Management>