We have journeyed through your past hurts, identified how it has shown up in your life in the present, and can now plan for who you want to be in the future. With a plan of action, you are making a conscious decision to play a role in your destiny and not remain helpless to what we know as fate. Destiny is something you can control, while fate is something that just happens to you. Nothing just happens, it is the result of choices made, good or bad, conscious or unconscious.
is room for improvement in all areas of our lives. We can start by
identifying 1-2 things in each category that we would like to work on,
how we will improve through skill practicing, and progress through your
journey, one step at a time.
Skill: Self-Discipline, Learning to ask for help
Practice: Write down everything that must be done before you leave the house; Give yourself an additional 30mins-1hour to prepare; Ask for help getting the children ready instead of taking on the responsibility of everything yourself; Unless requested, arriving 15mins earlier than the time you need to be somewhere should be sufficient timing
Skill: Communicating feelings of love and acceptance without judgment
Practice: Verbally say "I Love You"; Instead of giving general compliments like "Great Job", be more specific and say "Great job, for doing the dishes before I asked" or "I like the way you have kept your room clean this week, keep up the good work" - catch them in a teachable moment - be present; Give more praise then criticism
Skill: Accept ownership for your behavior, Set clear boundaries
Practice: Friendships take work, otherwise they would just be acquaintances; The friends we have impact who you are as a person; Are you accepting unfavorable behavior? Are you a good friend? What makes a person a good friend? When you hurt your friend's feelings (like forget their birthday), apologize, and take steps to not repeat the past, such as: add a birthday reminder on your phone for next year; If you are unhappy about their behavior, they may behave that way because you have not voiced healthy boundaries; Don't be resentful for something you have not been clear about
Skill: Make thoughtful choices, Create a sense of control
Practice: Make a list of where you currently spend your money; Where can you make adjustments; How can you save more money?; Do you weigh the consequences of maxing out your credit card before you go binge shopping?; Do you hide purchases?; Identifying the problem and developing a solution for each helps create a sense of control
Skill: Acknowledge when you are wrong; Self-Regulation
Practice: Take a moment to breathe and think about your responses to any given situation, whether with coworkers or supervisors; Are you reacting or responding?; Admit when you are wrong or made a mistake - does not mean you are a failure or an imposter, but that you are human; This is key in leadership because no one wants to be wrong, especially the boss, but it shows humility and leaves room for others to admit their mistakes and not tarnish their integrity by upholding the impossible; Be careful who you share your home life with at work, it could come back to haunt you
Skill: Critical thinking skills, Delayed gratification
Practice: Read the syllabus to find out office hours; Be clear about what you need help with; Attempt to solve the problem yourself first; Then ask a classmate or the teacher; Send an email; Go to tutoring sessions; Seeking help shows that you are trying and not giving up; Set short and long term goals; Reward your self for the small victories
Skill: Advocacy, Appreciation
Practice: Be kind to yourself; Be mindful of the language you use; Celebrate the small wins; Care for your inner child, giving yourself everything you needed and did not receive; Appreciate yourself for the care and love of you; Pat yourself on the back; Tell yourself you are doing a magnificent job; Give yourself a round of applause; Only you can make you happy; Look yourself in the mirror and tell you "I have a voice and I matter "
Character in the Community
Skill: Give back to the community, Sense of belonging
Practice: Be mindful of how you treat members of the community and the words you use when speaking to them; Are you nice to the local store clerk, even when your favorite product is out of stock?; Are you a careful driver, even when someone cuts you off in traffic or do you participate in road rage?; Character is what you do when no one is looking; If you were being recorded, would you still behave in the same way or be ashamed of your bad behavior? Find a cause in the community you can support and be passionate about, like helping children, the elderly, homeless, or at-risk population
Caring for our character is just one area of our life we can improve. Healing holistically is a balancing act between the Body, Mind, and Spirit that requires continuous improvement. If one area is out of sync, it will affect the other areas because they are all connected.
Interacts with the outside world, sending signals to your brain
Interacts with the body senses for information, allows the collection of knowledge
Experiences and beliefs help to develop the wisdom needed for daily functioning
Self-Actualization occurs when a person can take full advantage of their talents while being mindful of their limitations.
Share your new self with others, parents, children, partners, friends, family, the community. Your resilience skills can help you help someone else, because you are now in total control of yourself.
Wisdom is a defense, defend yourself by offering your knowledge to those individuals who may be having trouble identifying their own triggers and how it relates to what happened to them in their past.
Now that you know better, you can begin to do better. Take a moment at the end of each day, week, month, year to make sure you are staying on the right track and not falling back into old, bad habits. You must stay vigilant because it is easy to revert to what is comfortable. You may have a few slip ups, just self-correct and continue to follow the plan you have set for yourself to have a better life. It is ok to fall down, just don't stay down; pick yourself back up and keep trying.
Determine if you need to create new goals, alter your current goals, or slightly pivot to reach the goals you have in mind.
Write down 5 goals you have for yourself and 1 thing you do each day to progress towards each goal.
Get your copy of Adverse Childhood Experiences - Healing Journey Workbook -
A Self-Reflection Based Action Plan to Healing Body, Mind, and Spirit
Available in a Printable Digital Download or Spiral-Bound Hard Copy